What? What do you mean with that?
Let me tell you. Ingvild has told me before that you cannot plan much things in this family, then this point was definitely proven the last Saturday morning.
The plan was for Ingvild to go and visit her parents and siblings in the middle of Norway with the two little boys. They were flying from an airport two hours drive from us before Saturday noon. Ole was supposed to drive them to the airport and I was supposed to be with Selma that time. When I went downstairs 7.10 am, this is what Ingvild told me. Selma had been up from midnight, which meant that Ole hadn't slept at all and he won't be able to drive them to the airport. So instead, we gave Selma breakfast with her meds and hoped that she'll go back to sleep and Ole will be able to sleep a little also. I went to the airport with the rest of the family and drove the car back. And oh! It had started snowing that night. So the driving conditions were terrible! Of course, we were a little late out of the house plus the fact that it took us almost an extra half an hour to drive and what do you get? Arriving in the airport 10 minutes before the plane is supposed to leave! So we left all the check-in baggage and the trolley and the car seat for David in the car, rushed to the control gates and what were we told? The flight has been delayed 15 minutes, so now you can breathe! Which we definitely did! :) Well, they still didn't get to take the check-in baggage and other stuff, but they actually made it to the plane! I was so relieved. So they were off to having 4 great days with Ingvild's family. And I - I had to drive back home in the snowstorm, trying to figure out where the road goes. I'm thinking it was the worst trip for me. But I made it! Came home safe and found out that Ole had been able to sleep for an hour or so with Selma. That's something, right?
And then I'm thinking back at my original plan. My plan to be in Norway until January and how I was considering taking the flight home around 19th of January. I wouldn't have been here, you know. Well, they probably wouldn't have planned the trip then either. But still - I am so happy I am here. I am happy to see how me being here enables this family to do many things that 'normal' families take as granted. Like taking a four-day-trip to your family and siblings. Or going to church on Sunday morning. Or the parents having a weekend off. I am not sure how much of this they would be able to do. I am sure they would get some things done, but not all.
Just like yesterday - we are in the process of finding more assistants to help Selma (well, now we have like me and Maria, and we both don't work too many hours). In the beginning of last week, we had three people very interested and Ingvild had spent many-many hours in the office figuring out the work schedule, so that it would suit to everyone. Then one of them said that she won't be joining us after all, as she has one 50% job and it would be too much. And guess what happened yesterday evening? The other assistant, who was really interested in the training etc, said that she won't be joining us either, as she'll start studies in the fall. I don't think I've felt so sad for a while. And I definitely start to understand what Ingvild and Ole must be feeling. They have the money to pay people to come and help with Selma, but they don't have people. It is very hard. And again, my point is that I feel I am in the right place. I have been working a LOT in January, but I'm not complaining. WHY? Because I am glad I can help. And the fact that I get paid, is a bonus. I am glad I can be here and help train with Selma, so that she can improve. So that her everyday life can improve. So that she can be more alert and healthier and a happier child. The fact that I work like 12+ extra hours every week at the moment - not a problem. I will have time to have my own life soon. I know it. But I really want to see Selma getting a better life! Because she deserves it! She is this precious little girl, created by God and I have to say she has gotten the most awesome parents in the whole wide world! I was talking to Ingvild last night and she said that most families with a child like Selma would have the kid away every other week or weekend, so that the parents could have a rest. But she thinks that Selma deserves being at home. And I totally agree! It is hard - very hard, I must say. But if she has to be apart from parents from time to time - she deserves being in the comfort of her own home :)
So that's what's been going on in my life the past month basically. It's been exhausting and tiring and kinda crazy, but amidst all of it I feel that I am in the right place. And it's the BEST feeling in the whole wide world! :)
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
So who hasn't heard about the Millennium trilogy written by Stieg Larsson? I have, and I even managed to read about 50-70 pages from the first book. But that's where I left it. Because I just didn't have time.
So now has the first movie come out. Did I go to see it? Oh YES! Well, I just needed to get out of the house, so me and a friend of mine planned a trip to the movies. We were choosing between this movie and Sherlock Holmes. Well, Sherlock lost. BUT - I think it was a fair loss.
I normally don't really give reviews of the movies I watch, because I kinda suck at it - but I really enjoyed this one and want to share a couple of things with you. As I had read like the first chapter of the book, I knew who are the main characters (Mikael Blomkvist and Lisbeth Salander), what they do and what will be Mikael's assignment in the book. That was it and I had actually forgotten about it too.
So, I was pretty much a blank page waiting to be painted on. And was that a way of painting! Well, there were couple of shocking parts in the movie - very graphic in a sexual and very very disgusting way. I mean like abusing way. BUT what I liked was that somehow they had managed to bring it forward so that I kinda felt what the suffering person might have felt. So although I kept my hand in front of my eyes and thought 'What the heck have I come to watch???', I liked it in the overall sense. It gave some spice to the movie and was very realistic. I mean, there was a reason for these graphic scenes and some funny (sarcastic way funny, though) moments came out of them later in the movie.
Another thing I thought of - our privacy. Basically, if anyone wants to know anything about it, they'll find a way. I am pretty sure there are enough Lisbeth Salanders in this world to find out whatever. So in a way it reminds me God. We might think that we can hide stuff and when no one knows, it's OK to do all kind of things. But we should remember that someone always knows. If it's not God, someone else might be keeping an eye on you. So I do think we should live so that we don't have anything to hide.
I also liked the movie's story. What happened etc. I think it was well built up and it was going fast enough so that I wasn't bored. At the same time, I had a doubt or two - most of them were wrong, but I guessed one thing. That was kinda cool! :)
Overall, I really liked the movie. It was different. Well, I mostly watch romance movies, so it wasn't hard :D But I really mean different. I would suggest it to anyone. I really do. And now I'm considering whether I should start reading much more, so I could read all the books before the next movie comes out :) (I have to read more, because I just started Lord of the Rings series and everyone knows that's like over 1000 pages - well, 1068 in my book and I've read 86:P)
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
2011
So everyone is giving overviews of their past year. I think it's about time to do the same. I mean - it could be really easy. I can just say that my year 2011 was really amazing and abundantly blessed. BUT I will also try to give a month to month overview, highlighting the best things in each month.
January
I was an English substitute teacher in Parksepa Keskkool and it was pretty good. I also made the decision to take an academic year from the university - probably the BEST decision I have done in my life (or at least in many-many years). You can read later, why.
February
My English teacher role in Parksepa continues. I also helped to organize the Senior Prom for the Võru county schools. It was a success! My longtime dream of having my own snowboard was fulfilled - my parents sponsored half of the cost as my early B-day present! Yay! AND I got my very own ballgown.
March
I got to try out an English substituting in my old school. Three weeks being a colleague with my previous teachers - it felt kinda funny, but it was a great experience.
April
My third official job in 2011 - translating materials from English to Estonian for Aldersgate Ministries. Great job, because I learnt so much myself :)
May
We had a group from Swedish Bible school visiting for a week. I got my best compliments - a 27-year-old thought I am older than her plus several people in the group thought I am Norwegian. I was so flattered.
I also spent a week in Norway visiting my old au pair family and got in contact with the family I am working for at the moment.
More translating of the materials until the end of month. AND buying tickets to the US!
June
Actually had some time to rest and work four days in a farm.
June 15th - My flight to the USA. My week long vacation in Sedona, Arizona, which also included visiting Grand Canyon! :) So just six more nature miracles of the world left to visit ;)
July
I was actually in the US on July 4th and was able to celebrate it the right way.
When back in Estonia, I worked with a VIM team from Kingsport, TN and with our Brazilian-Estonian Mission group.
August
Some more days with crazy Brazilians and Estonians and I left for Norway on 9th of August. Had great first weeks in the family and celebrated my 25th birthday in Norway.
September
Nothing too exciting, but did visit Vienna. I did get my Norwegian bank account :)
October
Just enjoying my time with the family and working. The positive thing is that I lovelovelove the family I am working for and I am realizing it over and over again.
I also took the Norwegian tests for levels A2 and B1.
November
Work work work, some fun with friends and more work. I got the results for my tests - I passed them ALL! So proud of myself! At the same time, everyone kept telling me they knew I'm gonna pass anyway. Thank you for believing in me! :)
December
Ingvild asked me if I would like to continue working with them for longer than just up til January. I took a week for considering it and I accepted the offer. I went home for Christmas for a week as a surprise. If you ask me, it was the best idea ever ;) Well, some other people don't agree, but well....they just don't like surprises ;)
I think this was about it - the highlights of my wonderful year! :) Thank you all for being part of it!
January
I was an English substitute teacher in Parksepa Keskkool and it was pretty good. I also made the decision to take an academic year from the university - probably the BEST decision I have done in my life (or at least in many-many years). You can read later, why.
February
My English teacher role in Parksepa continues. I also helped to organize the Senior Prom for the Võru county schools. It was a success! My longtime dream of having my own snowboard was fulfilled - my parents sponsored half of the cost as my early B-day present! Yay! AND I got my very own ballgown.
March
I got to try out an English substituting in my old school. Three weeks being a colleague with my previous teachers - it felt kinda funny, but it was a great experience.
April
My third official job in 2011 - translating materials from English to Estonian for Aldersgate Ministries. Great job, because I learnt so much myself :)
May
We had a group from Swedish Bible school visiting for a week. I got my best compliments - a 27-year-old thought I am older than her plus several people in the group thought I am Norwegian. I was so flattered.
I also spent a week in Norway visiting my old au pair family and got in contact with the family I am working for at the moment.
More translating of the materials until the end of month. AND buying tickets to the US!
June
Actually had some time to rest and work four days in a farm.
June 15th - My flight to the USA. My week long vacation in Sedona, Arizona, which also included visiting Grand Canyon! :) So just six more nature miracles of the world left to visit ;)
July
I was actually in the US on July 4th and was able to celebrate it the right way.
When back in Estonia, I worked with a VIM team from Kingsport, TN and with our Brazilian-Estonian Mission group.
August
Some more days with crazy Brazilians and Estonians and I left for Norway on 9th of August. Had great first weeks in the family and celebrated my 25th birthday in Norway.
September
Nothing too exciting, but did visit Vienna. I did get my Norwegian bank account :)
October
Just enjoying my time with the family and working. The positive thing is that I lovelovelove the family I am working for and I am realizing it over and over again.
I also took the Norwegian tests for levels A2 and B1.
November
Work work work, some fun with friends and more work. I got the results for my tests - I passed them ALL! So proud of myself! At the same time, everyone kept telling me they knew I'm gonna pass anyway. Thank you for believing in me! :)
December
Ingvild asked me if I would like to continue working with them for longer than just up til January. I took a week for considering it and I accepted the offer. I went home for Christmas for a week as a surprise. If you ask me, it was the best idea ever ;) Well, some other people don't agree, but well....they just don't like surprises ;)
I think this was about it - the highlights of my wonderful year! :) Thank you all for being part of it!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
The moment
I love being with kids. I love taking care of them, having fun with them, being there for them. When being an au pair, there is the time that the kids need to get used to you. You know when they have accepted you 100% when there is this moment. The moment when they are upset at you (because you are telling them to wash their hands after peeing for example), but they still cling to you. They might be whining, but when you try to walk away, they really start crying. Yes, I know, who likes whiny kids. BUT for me it means that they want you around, they trust you and they believe you can help them. Maybe they are just whiny for a moment and don't know themselves what they want, but it's important that you are there.
Me and Gabriel had this moment this morning. Well, we've kinda had it before, but it was very clear today. I asked him to wash his hand after peeing like he always does, but he didn't want to. So I did it for him and he was kinda crying. We were done and came out of the toilet, he was in my lap repeating that he doesn't want to wash his hands. I kept repeating to him that he doesn't have to, that we've already done it, but he kept repeating himself. So I set him down, and he clang to me. I know, it's kinda silly, but I LOVED this moment. So he told me that he doesn't want to do anything, I have to carry him around. So I did - I took him upstairs with me, because I had to finish writing these Christmas cards. And the boy was happy! :)
Me and Gabriel had this moment this morning. Well, we've kinda had it before, but it was very clear today. I asked him to wash his hand after peeing like he always does, but he didn't want to. So I did it for him and he was kinda crying. We were done and came out of the toilet, he was in my lap repeating that he doesn't want to wash his hands. I kept repeating to him that he doesn't have to, that we've already done it, but he kept repeating himself. So I set him down, and he clang to me. I know, it's kinda silly, but I LOVED this moment. So he told me that he doesn't want to do anything, I have to carry him around. So I did - I took him upstairs with me, because I had to finish writing these Christmas cards. And the boy was happy! :)
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Changes
So I am guessing the fact that I changed the layout of my blog symbolizes the changes in my life too. Well, at least partly :)
I know that a lot of people are kinda sad or disappointed that I am staying in Norway for longer, but there's nothing to do. I mean - I just cannot go to Estonia because of others. I have lived so long for others and I feel that it's wrong. I have learned through others that we cannot live for someone else. Even when we really want to. I mean, we can, but it will definitely end with a catastrophe. And I don't want that. I believe that everyone who knows me at least a little, knows that I love doing everything possible for others. I love making people around me happy and I basically live to please people. But recently I have understood that I cannot keep living like that. Because I just know that if I do that, a very big disappointment will be on it's way. And I don't want it. I want to live under God's guidance and I feel that that's what I am doing at the moment. I have this peace in my heart and I won't change it for anything else. I got a letter from my mom yesterday - yes, a real letter. Because my parents are old-fashioned and don't use computers - like AT ALL! And I kind of love it. I love getting letters. Anyway, I called her last week and told her the news. So yesterday she wrote that it was a shock in the beginning, but her and my dad had discussed it and they said that I am old enough to make my own decisions. And it made me so happy! I mean, I know I'm 25 and a grown-up and in charge of my life, but it is still great to know that your parents are behind you and support you whatever you decide. And they haven't been the only ones. I've been most moved when my best friends, who miss me sooo much, have told me that although they would want me in Estonia really bad, they prefer me here and happy. Before I made my decision, I prayed that God would give me a sign and peace in my heart. I believe I have been given more than one sign - all these people telling me they want me to be happy, because that's what makes them happy. I am just so happy! :)
I also want to share about the changes I mentioned in the beginning. When I made the decision to stay here longer, I got this peace in my heart. And it feels so good. I feel that I am in the right place at the right time and it's just the best feeling in the whole wide world. I feel that I am needed and appreciated here. I am glad when Selma has the opportunity to train, because I'm here. Because that's what matters. Helping to improve someone's quality of life. But most of all - I feel like I can finally start planning things. It's hard to explain, but I'll try. When people know that you are here for just a short period (like 5 months), they aren't very keen in investing much time into you. Or getting to know you. Because they know that you will be leaving soon again. But when they know that you are staying for a longer period, they involve you in things, want to know you etc. When I mentioned to one of Selma's assistants that I might me staying for longer, she said that I have to join her at her gym. (Which, by the way, I am planning on doing:) I myself feel that I can plan things more. I want to do more and be more involved in things. The 'younger' couples and other singles (like me and two more people in the church :D) have taken up this initiative to start having Bible studies two times a month. We had the first one on Dec 1st and the next one will be somewhere in January. I was so sad to think that I will be able to attend just one and then I'm pretty much gone. Imagine my joy when I made the decision to stay. I can actually take part in things now :) So I am guessing my own attitude has changed and I'm happy about it :)
BIG NEWS today - we are having JULEBORD today. Julebord is like Christmas party at a workplace normally. Ingvild and Ole have invited me and Selma's assistants to a dinner in this great restaurant (that I have never been to before:P). I am really excited, because when I start thinking about it, it will be my first official Christmas celebration with my colleagues. I've never worked anywhere long enough to have something like that. So exciting! Well, I've had one before, but that was just eating little cake and that was it ;)
Ok, I think I'm done now. Have to get dressed :)
I know that a lot of people are kinda sad or disappointed that I am staying in Norway for longer, but there's nothing to do. I mean - I just cannot go to Estonia because of others. I have lived so long for others and I feel that it's wrong. I have learned through others that we cannot live for someone else. Even when we really want to. I mean, we can, but it will definitely end with a catastrophe. And I don't want that. I believe that everyone who knows me at least a little, knows that I love doing everything possible for others. I love making people around me happy and I basically live to please people. But recently I have understood that I cannot keep living like that. Because I just know that if I do that, a very big disappointment will be on it's way. And I don't want it. I want to live under God's guidance and I feel that that's what I am doing at the moment. I have this peace in my heart and I won't change it for anything else. I got a letter from my mom yesterday - yes, a real letter. Because my parents are old-fashioned and don't use computers - like AT ALL! And I kind of love it. I love getting letters. Anyway, I called her last week and told her the news. So yesterday she wrote that it was a shock in the beginning, but her and my dad had discussed it and they said that I am old enough to make my own decisions. And it made me so happy! I mean, I know I'm 25 and a grown-up and in charge of my life, but it is still great to know that your parents are behind you and support you whatever you decide. And they haven't been the only ones. I've been most moved when my best friends, who miss me sooo much, have told me that although they would want me in Estonia really bad, they prefer me here and happy. Before I made my decision, I prayed that God would give me a sign and peace in my heart. I believe I have been given more than one sign - all these people telling me they want me to be happy, because that's what makes them happy. I am just so happy! :)
I also want to share about the changes I mentioned in the beginning. When I made the decision to stay here longer, I got this peace in my heart. And it feels so good. I feel that I am in the right place at the right time and it's just the best feeling in the whole wide world. I feel that I am needed and appreciated here. I am glad when Selma has the opportunity to train, because I'm here. Because that's what matters. Helping to improve someone's quality of life. But most of all - I feel like I can finally start planning things. It's hard to explain, but I'll try. When people know that you are here for just a short period (like 5 months), they aren't very keen in investing much time into you. Or getting to know you. Because they know that you will be leaving soon again. But when they know that you are staying for a longer period, they involve you in things, want to know you etc. When I mentioned to one of Selma's assistants that I might me staying for longer, she said that I have to join her at her gym. (Which, by the way, I am planning on doing:) I myself feel that I can plan things more. I want to do more and be more involved in things. The 'younger' couples and other singles (like me and two more people in the church :D) have taken up this initiative to start having Bible studies two times a month. We had the first one on Dec 1st and the next one will be somewhere in January. I was so sad to think that I will be able to attend just one and then I'm pretty much gone. Imagine my joy when I made the decision to stay. I can actually take part in things now :) So I am guessing my own attitude has changed and I'm happy about it :)
BIG NEWS today - we are having JULEBORD today. Julebord is like Christmas party at a workplace normally. Ingvild and Ole have invited me and Selma's assistants to a dinner in this great restaurant (that I have never been to before:P). I am really excited, because when I start thinking about it, it will be my first official Christmas celebration with my colleagues. I've never worked anywhere long enough to have something like that. So exciting! Well, I've had one before, but that was just eating little cake and that was it ;)
Ok, I think I'm done now. Have to get dressed :)
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Snow???
Where is the snow? This white stuff that makes it feel like it's time for winter and Christmas preparations and glogg and tangerines etc. I really do miss it. And I'm guessing that's the reason I've been listening to Frank Sinatra's "Let it snow" the whole day :) Because that's what I mean. Please LET IT SNOW! :)
I have had great past three weeks. I am really enjoying my time here. Almost every day I feel that I am needed here. And Ingvild said just yesterday that she is very happy I am here. I love the feeling where you know that you are in the right place at the right time :) It is just the BEST feeling! Well, if I haven't mentioned it yet, I am staying in Norway for longer than planned in the beginning. Ingvild asked me if Id like it or if it would be possible. So I took one week to think about it, consider it, pray about it. AND now I've made up my mind. I am staying. And I have peace in my heart! :)
We had girls' "julebord" yesterday evening. It was me, Daniela, Krasi and two of Krasi's friends. To explain it, "julebord" is what Norwegians normally call a Christmas party at work. So we just had it with the girls. And it was nice. We ate ribs and potatoes etc in the beginning and then hanged out the rest of the evening. It was very cozy and great. So we chilled up until 11 pm or so, and then Krasi and her two friends went out on town, while me and Daniela went home. I know, we're old :D But I am really happy I went. I am finally starting to feel that I actually have life here. It takes time to develop relationships, find friends etc, but I finally feel that it's happening. And I am guessing that the fact I am staying longer is also helping. Who wants to invest a lot into a person who is leaving in a couple of months? I totally get it :)
That's all for now :)
I have had great past three weeks. I am really enjoying my time here. Almost every day I feel that I am needed here. And Ingvild said just yesterday that she is very happy I am here. I love the feeling where you know that you are in the right place at the right time :) It is just the BEST feeling! Well, if I haven't mentioned it yet, I am staying in Norway for longer than planned in the beginning. Ingvild asked me if Id like it or if it would be possible. So I took one week to think about it, consider it, pray about it. AND now I've made up my mind. I am staying. And I have peace in my heart! :)
We had girls' "julebord" yesterday evening. It was me, Daniela, Krasi and two of Krasi's friends. To explain it, "julebord" is what Norwegians normally call a Christmas party at work. So we just had it with the girls. And it was nice. We ate ribs and potatoes etc in the beginning and then hanged out the rest of the evening. It was very cozy and great. So we chilled up until 11 pm or so, and then Krasi and her two friends went out on town, while me and Daniela went home. I know, we're old :D But I am really happy I went. I am finally starting to feel that I actually have life here. It takes time to develop relationships, find friends etc, but I finally feel that it's happening. And I am guessing that the fact I am staying longer is also helping. Who wants to invest a lot into a person who is leaving in a couple of months? I totally get it :)
That's all for now :)
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