Changes

So I am guessing the fact that I changed the layout of my blog symbolizes the changes in my life too. Well, at least partly :)
I know that a lot of people are kinda sad or disappointed that I am staying in Norway for longer, but there's nothing to do. I mean - I just cannot go to Estonia because of others. I have lived so long for others and I feel that it's wrong. I have learned through others that we cannot live for someone else. Even when we really want to. I mean, we can, but it will definitely end with a catastrophe. And I don't want that. I believe that everyone who knows me at least a little, knows that I love doing everything possible for others. I love making people around me happy and I basically live to please people. But recently I have understood that I cannot keep living like that. Because I just know that if I do that, a very big disappointment will be on it's way. And I don't want it. I want to live under God's guidance and I feel that that's what I am doing at the moment. I have this peace in my heart and I won't change it for anything else. I got a letter from my mom yesterday - yes, a real letter. Because my parents are old-fashioned and don't use computers - like AT ALL! And I kind of love it. I love getting letters. Anyway, I called her last week and told her the news. So yesterday she wrote that it was a shock in the beginning, but her and my dad had discussed it and they said that I am old enough to make my own decisions. And it made me so happy! I mean, I know I'm 25 and a grown-up and in charge of my life, but it is still great to know that your parents are behind you and support you whatever you decide. And they haven't been the only ones. I've been most moved when my best friends, who miss me sooo much, have told me that although they would want me in Estonia really bad, they prefer me here and happy. Before I made my decision, I prayed that God would give me a sign and peace in my heart. I believe I have been given more than one sign - all these people telling me they want me to be happy, because that's what makes them happy. I am just so happy! :)
I also want to share about the changes I mentioned in the beginning. When I made the decision to stay here longer, I got this peace in my heart. And it feels so good. I feel that I am in the right place at the right time and it's just the best feeling in the whole wide world. I feel that I am needed and appreciated here. I am glad when Selma has the opportunity to train, because I'm here. Because that's what matters. Helping to improve someone's quality of life. But most of all - I feel like I can finally start planning things. It's hard to explain, but I'll try. When people know that you are here for just a short period (like 5 months), they aren't very keen in investing much time into you. Or getting to know you. Because they know that you will be leaving soon again. But when they know that you are staying for a longer period, they involve you in things, want to know you etc. When I mentioned to one of Selma's assistants that I might me staying for longer, she said that I have to join her at her gym. (Which, by the way, I am planning on doing:) I myself feel that I can plan things more. I want to do more and be more involved in things. The 'younger' couples and other singles (like me and two more people in the church :D) have taken up this initiative to start having Bible studies two times a month. We had the first one on Dec 1st and the next one will be somewhere in January. I was so sad to think that I will be able to attend just one and then I'm pretty much gone. Imagine my joy when I made the decision to stay. I can actually take part in things now :) So I am guessing my own attitude has changed and I'm happy about it :)
BIG NEWS today - we are having JULEBORD today. Julebord is like Christmas party at a workplace normally. Ingvild and Ole have invited me and Selma's assistants to a dinner in this great restaurant (that I have never been to before:P). I am really excited, because when I start thinking about it, it will be my first official Christmas celebration with my colleagues. I've never worked anywhere long enough to have something like that. So exciting! Well, I've had one before, but that was just eating little cake and that was it ;)

Ok, I think I'm done now. Have to get dressed :)