New Year's Resolution

New Year often brings along New Year Resolution's that will be forgotten soon. For years, I have tried not to go crazy with my resolutions and rather find a few ideas or phrases to help me guide the new year.  Two years ago, I decided to TAKE more time for reading, becuase I always say that I love reading, but then when you ask me what was the last book I read, I had hard time remembering because I hadn't read for a while. I still work on taking time for reading, although it has become a bit harder due to university studies at the moment. But I will get there! 

This year, I was driving alone on January 1st and put on some worhip music. There was a song that touched me and I have decided this to be my "motto" this year. My favourite phrase from it says: "I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground". A bit controversial, but that's how things work in God's kingdom. The song can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLaHl2wrg-Y 

Paastuaeg

Tänasest algab paastuaeg. Siin üks väljakutse, kuidas seda teha heldemalt, et jagada Jumala armastust maailmale meie ümber.
40 acts liikumine https://40acts.org.uk/signup/

New trend - Life

Someone posted this link from a Norwegian blog on Facebook about two weeks ago. I decided to check it out and it turned out to be an AMAZING blogpost. So I decided to translate into English and Estonian so that others can get part of it, too. The original post is here: http://fristendelavkarbo.no/2013/12/11/ny-trend-livet/

In English:
New trend; Life
I meet you on my way to the car. It has been a while since we met each other, we never find time. We stop and chat, talk, update. But then it comes out that we know most of the things anyway. -Yes, I heard that, you say. -I saw on Facebook that you have taken a trip, I say. -Your youngest has become so big, you say. -I saw the picture on Instagram. We agree to meet again soon. We would have liked to continue with the talk, but we don't have time right now. We hug each other tight and feel that behind everything we know about each other, there is so much we should have talked about. -I'll call you soon, I finish while sitting in the car. But days and weeks pass. The time from the moment we get home from work until the children are in bed and the kitchen cleaned, is filled with homework, food, activities, training, shopping, preparations, watching TV. After that we, grown-ups, want to rest and have time for each other. It is so hard to find time for a cup of coffee with you in the everyday life. It's much easier to take the smartphone and read how are you doing on Facebook. Click 'like' to the things you post, show you that I see you, I follow your life. I just don't have time for you. We postpone our meeting. We don't need to meet. We experience each other on the Internet, and we're updated about each other. Sometimes we even send an sms to kind of prove that we actually think about each other. But we have no idea how it is actually going. I don't know how are you doing behind your status updates. I can't see laughter in your eyes or know how you are actually doing through the words in a text message. To know that, I need to hear the sound of your voice or see your eyes. Suddenly I miss the talks. Talks over a cup of tea, legs curled to a sofa or over a glass of wine in a café. A talk where we chat about solved and unsolved things. A chat where we solve the world's problems and create new ones, not to mention the times where we let each other deep inside ourselves and talk about things that really matter. A talk that tells me how you really are doing, that goes deeper than a shiny update about what you have or where you are. Those fantastic talks that mean so much. It says that Norwegians are so trendy. Apparently we throw ourselves over trends. Therefore I would like to propose a new trend, trendy in real life or trendy irl (yes, it has to be in English. Apparently, that's also trendy). To follow friends' life through social media is hereby announced so 2012. To call or go to a visit, to meet for a chat, that's trendy. Chats are hereby announced to be super-trendy. IRL is the new thing.

And in Estonian:
 Uus trend; Elu
Ma kohtan sind teel auto juurde. Viimasest kohtumisest on tükk aega möödas, me ei leia kunagi aega. Me peatume ja ajame juttu, jutustame, viime üksteist asjadega kurssi. Kuid siis selgub, et me teame suuremat osa asju niigi. -Jah, ma kuulsin seda, ütled sa. -Ma nägin facebook'is, et te käisite reisil, ütlen mina. -Su noorim poeg on nii suureks saanud, ütled sina. -Ma nägin pilti Instagramis. Me nõustume, et saame varsti jälle kokku. Me soovisime jutuajamist jätkata, kuid meil ei ole hetkel aega. Me kallistame üksteist kõvasti ning tunneme mõlemad, et vaatamata sellele, mida me üksteise kohta teame, on nii palju asju, millest me oleksime pidanud rääkima. -Ma helistan sulle varsti, lõpetan ma jutuajamise, istudes autosse. Kuid päevad ja nädalad mööduvad. Aeg sellest hetkest, kui tuleme töölt koju kuni lapsed on magama pandud ning köök koristatud, on täidetud koolitööde, toidu, tegevuste, trennide, šoppamise, ettevalmistustega ning teleka vaatamisega. Pärast seda tahame meie, täiskasvanud, puhata ning kahekesi aega veeta. Igapäevaelus on nii raske leida aega tassi kohvi jaoks sinuga ja nii lihtne on võtta kätte nutitelefon ning lugeda, kuidas sul läheb, facebook'ist. Klikkida 'like' asjadele, mida sa postitad, näidata sulle, et ma näen sind, ma jälgin sinu elu. Mul lihtsalt ei ole aega sinu jaoks. Me lükkame kokkusaamise edasi. Me ei pea kokku saama. Me kogeme ju üksteise elu internetis ning oleme üksteisega kursis. Me saadame isegi aeg-ajalt sms'e, et nagu tõestada, et me tõesti mõtleme üksteise peale. Kuid meil pole aimugi, kuidas tegelikult läheb. Ma ei tea, kuidas sul läheb sinu staatuse postituste taga. Ma ei näe naeru sinu silmades ega tea, kuidas sul tegelikult läheb läbi tekstisõnumis saadetud sõnade. Et seda teada saada, pean ma kuulma sinu hääle kõla või nägema sinu silmi. Korraga igatsen ma vestlust. Vestlust tassitäie teega, jalad diivani peal enda all või klaasi veini juures kohvikus. Vestlust, kus me lobiseme lahendatud ja lahendamata asjadest. Jutuajamist, kus me lahendama maailma probleeme ning loome uusi, mainimata neid kordi, kus me laseme üksteist endale väga lähedale ning räägime sellest, mis tõeliselt midagi tähendab. Vestlus, mis ütleb mulle, kuidas sul tegelikult läheb, mis läheb sügavamale kui üks hiilgav postitus sellest, mis sul on või kus sa oled. Need fantastilised jutuajamised, mis tähendavad nii palju. See näitab, et norralased on nii trendikad. Nähtavasti pühendume me trendidele kogu hingega. Seetõttu soovin ma teha ettepaneku uue trendi osas – trendy in real life või trendy irl (jah, see peab olema inglise keeles. Nähtavasti on ka see trendikas). Seega kuulutan sõprade sotsiaalse elu jälgimise sotsiaalmeedia vahendusel 2012 aasta trendiks. Nüüd on trendikas helistada või minna külla, kohtuda jutuajamiseks. Jutuajamised kuulutatakse seega supertrendikaks. IRL on uus asi.

Running for God

I went to church on Sunday and we had family service. So children helped to take up the offering. I really liked how this 7-year-old boy was taking up collection and there was confusion and he was on the wrong side waiting for the basket. So, anyway, what did he do? He RAN to the other side to take the basket again. I just think it was so beautiful! Do we RUN when we fill the tasks God has given us?

Be open

Recently I'v been thinking a lot about the topic of relationship(s). And yes, mostly the ones between a girl and a boy. How do they come to being, what kind of relationships I've had etc, etc, etc. Anyway, as I was thinking about it, I came across this blog post by Mike Patz (http://michaelpatz.com/2012/07/27/it-takes-a-village-to-connect-the-dots/) and I just think it is so true. This was definitely my favorite sentence: "It saddens me to think about relationships that never start because Christian guys don’t choose to communicate their intentions." I just feel it's so true. Well, probably the fact that I found out that a guy had had a crush on me for a period of time some years ago and I found out about it like three years later makes my feelings so much stronger. Anyway, I've thought about it a lot and what I am trying to say is that guys (and why not also girls) should express their feelings and intentions so much more. I KNOW it hurts to find out that someone you like doesn't like you back, but isn't it better to rather find it out than keep dreaming about them? At least you will know where you are, you can move on with your life. Yes, telling someone that you like them without knowing the response is making you vulnerable (talking about my own experience), but I think that's how we're supposed to be. Open, vulnerable, honest. And if you have God on your side and you follow His guidance, you might find out that this person actually likes you too! And if not, so what? As Rachel from the Friends says: "Who wouldn't like to hear that they are loved?"

I FEEL TRULY BLESSED!
And I mean it! I'm having the best time and I almost cried because God, MY Daddy is just taking so good care of me. He knows what I need and I'm happy to see that He's providing me all that and so much more! :)

The crazy life

What? What do you mean with that?
Let me tell you. Ingvild has told me before that you cannot plan much things in this family, then this point was definitely proven the last Saturday morning.
The plan was for Ingvild to go and visit her parents and siblings in the middle of Norway with the two little boys. They were flying from an airport two hours drive from us before Saturday noon. Ole was supposed to drive them to the airport and I was supposed to be with Selma that time. When I went downstairs 7.10 am, this is what Ingvild told me. Selma had been up from midnight, which meant that Ole hadn't slept at all and he won't be able to drive them to the airport. So instead, we gave Selma breakfast with her meds and hoped that she'll go back to sleep and Ole will be able to sleep a little also. I went to the airport with the rest of the family and drove the car back. And oh! It had started snowing that night. So the driving conditions were terrible! Of course, we were a little late out of the house plus the fact that it took us almost an extra half an hour to drive and what do you get? Arriving in the airport 10 minutes before the plane is supposed to leave! So we left all the check-in baggage and the trolley and the car seat for David in the car, rushed to the control gates and what were we told? The flight has been delayed 15 minutes, so now you can breathe! Which we definitely did! :) Well, they still didn't get to take the check-in baggage and other stuff, but they actually made it to the plane! I was so relieved. So they were off to having 4 great days with Ingvild's family. And I - I had to drive back home in the snowstorm, trying to figure out where the road goes. I'm thinking it was the worst trip for me. But I made it! Came home safe and found out that Ole had been able to sleep for an hour or so with Selma. That's something, right?
And then I'm thinking back at my original plan. My plan to be in Norway until January and how I was considering taking the flight home around 19th of January. I wouldn't have been here, you know. Well, they probably wouldn't have planned the trip then either. But still - I am so happy I am here. I am happy to see how me being here enables this family to do many things that 'normal' families take as granted. Like taking a four-day-trip to your family and siblings. Or going to church on Sunday morning. Or the parents having a weekend off. I am not sure how much of this they would be able to do. I am sure they would get some things done, but not all.
Just like yesterday - we are in the process of finding more assistants to help Selma (well, now we have like me and Maria, and we both don't work too many hours). In the beginning of last week, we had three people very interested and Ingvild had spent many-many hours in the office figuring out the work schedule, so that it would suit to everyone. Then one of them said that she won't be joining us after all, as she has one 50% job and it would be too much. And guess what happened yesterday evening? The other assistant, who was really interested in the training etc, said that she won't be joining us either, as she'll start studies in the fall. I don't think I've felt so sad for a while. And I definitely start to understand what Ingvild and Ole must be feeling. They have the money to pay people to come and help with Selma, but they don't have people. It is very hard. And again, my point is that I feel I am in the right place. I have been working a LOT in January, but I'm not complaining. WHY? Because I am glad I can help. And the fact that I get paid, is a bonus. I am glad I can be here and help train with Selma, so that she can improve. So that her everyday life can improve. So that she can be more alert and healthier and a happier child. The fact that I work like 12+ extra hours every week at the moment - not a problem. I will have time to have my own life soon. I know it. But I really want to see Selma getting a better life! Because she deserves it! She is this precious little girl, created by God and I have to say she has gotten the most awesome parents in the whole wide world! I was talking to Ingvild last night and she said that most families with a child like Selma would have the kid away every other week or weekend, so that the parents could have a rest. But she thinks that Selma deserves being at home. And I totally agree! It is hard - very hard, I must say. But if she has to be apart from parents from time to time - she deserves being in the comfort of her own home :)

So that's what's been going on in my life the past month basically. It's been exhausting and tiring and kinda crazy, but amidst all of it I feel that I am in the right place. And it's the BEST feeling in the whole wide world! :)